THOSE PESKY CONTRADICTIONS IN THE BIBLE
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date: January 17, 2013
Column Number: 1303
Ok class; how do you harmonize the teachings of The Christ Jesus and the Apostle Paul?
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice; I know you have struggled with this seemingly impossible task!
There is a method of Biblical Interpretation that is absolutely essential for determining who’s on first and what’s on second and when’s on third.
Gimme five; and I’ll give it a shot to ‘splain it; and maybe I’ll need another five next week.
Jesus taught in the “Sermon of the Mount”:
“Do not think that I came to abolish the Law and the Prophets; I did not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. Truly I say unto you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law, until all of it is accomplished” (Matthew 5:17-18).
Now, take your best shot to interpret those words of Jesus (probably printed in red in your Bible).
Remember, the Bible is actually “The Mind of God on Paper”; and we are supposed to be able to accurately translate that????? I hope you will agree, we need all the help we can get!
Now, look at what the greatest Christian ever (Paul) wrote:
“Nevertheless, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through Faith in Jesus Christ; so that we might be justified by Faith in Christ, and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law, no flesh shall be justified” (Gal 2:16).
It is really quite obvious: something radical happened between the “Sermon on the Mount” and the later Ministry of Paul the Apostle.
Here is another one for your databanks: In the sermon to the twelve that He sent out, Jesus said:
“Do not go in the way of the Gentiles; do not enter any city of the Samaritans; but rather go to the lost sheep of the House of Israel” (Matt 10:5-6).
Later, Jesus said:
“Go and make disciples of all the nations (Gentiles); baptizing them in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit” (Matt 28:19).
Obviously, these two examples alone point out a distinguishable change in the Plan of God. For some reason, God introduced some completely new revelation about how He and mankind were going to relate to each other; and this is confusing to young Christians and new Bible Students.
It is quite obvious that God deals with different people in different ways at different times:
Adam was told to dress the garden and not eat of the fruit of one of its trees;
Noah was told to build a big black box;
Moses was given a complicated set of rules and regulations that had to be kept to the last detail in order to be “right with God”.
We are told to repent and come to Jesus in Faith.
Do you see it? If you cannot comprehend this system of time periods (called dispensations), you are really going to be in a world of hurt if you try to figure God’s Mind out!
And yet, through it all, there has only ever been only one way to come to salvation – and that is by God’s Amazing Grace; the only way there will ever be!
I am glad I saw that and came running to Him in faith, repenting and accepting His Salvation by His Grace!
You?
You don’t know how? I do, and I will share!
(Mooty is pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport; and writes this column for the Thursday and Weekend Editions of “The Newport Plain Talk”. He can be reached at tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Write or call the paper with your comments today.)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
"GROUPS OF STUFF AND THINGS"
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date: January 10, 2013
Column Number: 1302
You know what they say! If it’s on the Internet, it’s got to be true! Yep; that’s what “they” say.
Have you ever tried to pinpoint who this mysterious group called “they” is? I know, individually, they “are”; but as a singular group, they “is”.
That statement makes almost as good sense as who this group really is. If “they” were animals, I could probably spotlight them like an “intrusion” of cockroaches; and watch them run to the nearest rock or kitchen cabinet and hide until the light goes off.
If “they” were a “drove” of donkeys, a “brace” of ducks, a “mob” of Emus, or a “gang” of buffalos; I might be able to identify them. After all, my three years in bonehead “Freshman Animal Identification” were not spent just whittling and whistling my way while my instructor (I forget his/her/its name right at the moment) listed such gems as a “congregation” of alligators and a “bask” of crocodiles on the black board. A “shrewdness” of apes was followed by a “cete” of badgers and a “colony” of bats.
You see, if I could group “they” into convenient little groups with a nice little group name badge; maybe I could help you identify them much mo better (as “they” say as “they” gather around the third bench on the grounds of the Frogpond Courthouse discussing a “sloth” of bears, a “swarm” of bees, and a “rabble” of butterflies.
Mayor, Lester Starnes’ will soon come out, followed by a “clutter” of cats that live under his office. That is “mo better” than having a “coalition” of cheetahs under your office, don’t you think.
By the way, ask Notre Dame about having a “parade” of elephants come parading through your little game plan. My three years were well spent leaning about a “herd” of cows or horses, an “ambush” of tigers, a “hoover” of trout, a “rafter” of turkeys”, a “bale” of turtles, and a “mob” of wombats (I hesitate to think what damage a mob of wombats could do).
My friendly woodpeckers in my front yard fly in “descents”; and the beautiful Biblical doves gather in “exhaultations”; while the kangaroos and baboons in your front yard run (or bounce) in “troups”.
You know about the “pride” of lions, the “warren” of rabbits, and Colonel Sanders’ rep is out there checking out the “flock” of chickens. Long John Silver’s rep is looking for “schools” of fish; and the patriotic types are gazing at that “convocation” of eagles flying overhead.
Those angry black birds are crows and they fly in a “murder”. Frogpond has its share of “casts” of falcons, “clouds” of flies, “skulks” of foxes, “armies” of frogs, “gaggles” of geese, “casts” of hawks, “cackles” of hyena, “companies” of parrots, and “droves” of pigs.
We are not bothered too much with “bloats” of hippos, “cartloads” of monkeys, “smacks” of jellyfish (ever caught yourself “smack dab” in the middle of a “smack”), “families” of otter, “beds” of oysters, “bevies” of swans, “pods” of porpoises, “harems” of seals, “crashes” of rhinos, “shivers” of sharks, or “rookeries” of penguins; but we do have our share of “charms” of hummingbirds, “mischiefs” of mice, “parliaments” of owls, “labors” of moles, “coveys” of quail, and “drays” of squirrels.
Most of you know what a raven is; and no, I’m not talking about a football team from Baltimore! A raven is a somewhat obnoxious bird of carrion that was used by Noah to determine if the world-wide flood waters had receded sufficiently to disembark the ark; but the raven found itself a floating chunk of “water kill” (the oceanic form of “road kill”) and satisfied itself never to go back to the ark.
Ravens can talk. Edgar Allen Poe quoted one as saying “Nevermore”. I saw it on the Internet, so it has to be true! Oddly, a group of ravens is inaptly called – wait for it – wait of it – a “congress”; named for a group of people, some of whom say “nevermore” but they never seem to back up “nevermore”; especially where spending OPM (Other People’s Money) is concerned.
Me?
Hey, I am so happy to be a member of the “congregation” of God’s People. You might call it the Church, an “Assembly” or “Ecclesia”, or whatever; but God is gathering His Congregation together to make the jump into hyperspace in what we know as the Rapture of the Church.
That could be today! Are you ready? Are you a member of this “group”? Would you like to be? Don’t know how? I do, and I will surely share!
(Mooty is the Very, Very, Very Senior pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport; and writes this column for the Thursday and Weekend Editions of “The Newport Plain Talk”. He can be reached at tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Write or call the paper with your comments today.)
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date: January 10, 2013
Column Number: 1302
You know what they say! If it’s on the Internet, it’s got to be true! Yep; that’s what “they” say.
Have you ever tried to pinpoint who this mysterious group called “they” is? I know, individually, they “are”; but as a singular group, they “is”.
That statement makes almost as good sense as who this group really is. If “they” were animals, I could probably spotlight them like an “intrusion” of cockroaches; and watch them run to the nearest rock or kitchen cabinet and hide until the light goes off.
If “they” were a “drove” of donkeys, a “brace” of ducks, a “mob” of Emus, or a “gang” of buffalos; I might be able to identify them. After all, my three years in bonehead “Freshman Animal Identification” were not spent just whittling and whistling my way while my instructor (I forget his/her/its name right at the moment) listed such gems as a “congregation” of alligators and a “bask” of crocodiles on the black board. A “shrewdness” of apes was followed by a “cete” of badgers and a “colony” of bats.
You see, if I could group “they” into convenient little groups with a nice little group name badge; maybe I could help you identify them much mo better (as “they” say as “they” gather around the third bench on the grounds of the Frogpond Courthouse discussing a “sloth” of bears, a “swarm” of bees, and a “rabble” of butterflies.
Mayor, Lester Starnes’ will soon come out, followed by a “clutter” of cats that live under his office. That is “mo better” than having a “coalition” of cheetahs under your office, don’t you think.
By the way, ask Notre Dame about having a “parade” of elephants come parading through your little game plan. My three years were well spent leaning about a “herd” of cows or horses, an “ambush” of tigers, a “hoover” of trout, a “rafter” of turkeys”, a “bale” of turtles, and a “mob” of wombats (I hesitate to think what damage a mob of wombats could do).
My friendly woodpeckers in my front yard fly in “descents”; and the beautiful Biblical doves gather in “exhaultations”; while the kangaroos and baboons in your front yard run (or bounce) in “troups”.
You know about the “pride” of lions, the “warren” of rabbits, and Colonel Sanders’ rep is out there checking out the “flock” of chickens. Long John Silver’s rep is looking for “schools” of fish; and the patriotic types are gazing at that “convocation” of eagles flying overhead.
Those angry black birds are crows and they fly in a “murder”. Frogpond has its share of “casts” of falcons, “clouds” of flies, “skulks” of foxes, “armies” of frogs, “gaggles” of geese, “casts” of hawks, “cackles” of hyena, “companies” of parrots, and “droves” of pigs.
We are not bothered too much with “bloats” of hippos, “cartloads” of monkeys, “smacks” of jellyfish (ever caught yourself “smack dab” in the middle of a “smack”), “families” of otter, “beds” of oysters, “bevies” of swans, “pods” of porpoises, “harems” of seals, “crashes” of rhinos, “shivers” of sharks, or “rookeries” of penguins; but we do have our share of “charms” of hummingbirds, “mischiefs” of mice, “parliaments” of owls, “labors” of moles, “coveys” of quail, and “drays” of squirrels.
Most of you know what a raven is; and no, I’m not talking about a football team from Baltimore! A raven is a somewhat obnoxious bird of carrion that was used by Noah to determine if the world-wide flood waters had receded sufficiently to disembark the ark; but the raven found itself a floating chunk of “water kill” (the oceanic form of “road kill”) and satisfied itself never to go back to the ark.
Ravens can talk. Edgar Allen Poe quoted one as saying “Nevermore”. I saw it on the Internet, so it has to be true! Oddly, a group of ravens is inaptly called – wait for it – wait of it – a “congress”; named for a group of people, some of whom say “nevermore” but they never seem to back up “nevermore”; especially where spending OPM (Other People’s Money) is concerned.
Me?
Hey, I am so happy to be a member of the “congregation” of God’s People. You might call it the Church, an “Assembly” or “Ecclesia”, or whatever; but God is gathering His Congregation together to make the jump into hyperspace in what we know as the Rapture of the Church.
That could be today! Are you ready? Are you a member of this “group”? Would you like to be? Don’t know how? I do, and I will surely share!
(Mooty is the Very, Very, Very Senior pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport; and writes this column for the Thursday and Weekend Editions of “The Newport Plain Talk”. He can be reached at tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Write or call the paper with your comments today.)
"DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT"
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date: January 3, 2013
Column Number: 1301
Back in the dark ages, I think it was in Mrs. Freeman’s eighth grade class at Newport Grammar (although it could very well have been in any class); we played a game called “gossip”.
It went like this: one person started a “rumor” by whispering it to the person next to him/her in the circle; then it was repeated on and on around the circle until it got back to the original “rumor-monger”. Well, you know the drill. It was always amazing how different the original was from the copy (after passing through thirty or more levels). “We had peas for lunch today” could very well “come back home” as “Steve and Pete laid out of school yesterday”.
As I said, you know the drill!
Harmless kids’ game? Maybe; but it teaches a very important lesson. The problem is, we do not seem to ever learn that lesson.
I, like many of you, have watched the news reports over and over of the very difficult recent weeks that made up the Thanksgiving/Christmas Season. Hurricane Sandy was followed by this shooting and that shooting and then Sandy Hook School; then the shooting of the fire fighters was they tried to do their essential lifesaving work.
Blizzards here and tornadoes there highlighted the highlights; and “Der Bingle’s” “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” became fighting words to them that had one and to them that had one not.
Charges were hurled at the governor and by the governor; and probably in the long run, Mr. Bush will somehow get the blame as all this unfolds.
News reports were premature; and each time they were rehashed, they got either better or worse, depending upon your perspective. Tragic? You betcha!
Last I heard, one surviving student of Sandy Hook was suing the school system for his trauma of having to listen to the loud speakers and guns blazing. I guess to be more concise, it was his parents that are suing the school system.
Then there’s the infamous “fiscal cliff” and the action of inaction that our congressional cream of the crops took; and everybody took to the streets to cheer the fact that they had actually done something – think of that – they had actually debated an issue and come up with a decision – a wrong decision, IMHO; but at least they had the chops to show up and raise their hands.
There will be hearings and discussions and talks and debates and confabs and analysis and arguments and conversations and consultations and deliberations and assemblies – and did I mention hearings?
Who did what? Who said what? Who heard what? Why? To whom, with whom, and on and on it will go.
I try to communicate as clearly as I can the most important message ever told! The Gospel of The Lord Jesus Christ is the singularly most vital and essential communication anyone will ever hear; and it needs to be clearly understood. Souls are in the balance! Eternity is in the scales! Talk about a “life or death” message!
There you go! Mob mentality cannot be controlled. Clear thinking people can never be heard over the din of the chants of the mob. You hear it all the time in news reports of the Middle East.
Make no mistake about it! Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life –and there is no other! Hear the message clearly! Read it again and again; and do not allow it to get garbled in a translation. Go straight to the source – the Bible – any Bible will do (they all have John 3:16 in them).
Don’t have a Bible? Steal one from a motel or hospital room. My friends in the Gideon organization will not mind. They will replace it at their own cost – so you can get the message straight! Jesus saves! He is the only One who could and He is the only One who came; and all of it so everyone could be saved and go to heaven when you die!
Clear enough?
(Mooty is pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport; and writes this column every Thursday and Weekend for “The Newport Plain Talk”. He can be reached at tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Write or call the paper with your comments today.)
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date: January 3, 2013
Column Number: 1301
Back in the dark ages, I think it was in Mrs. Freeman’s eighth grade class at Newport Grammar (although it could very well have been in any class); we played a game called “gossip”.
It went like this: one person started a “rumor” by whispering it to the person next to him/her in the circle; then it was repeated on and on around the circle until it got back to the original “rumor-monger”. Well, you know the drill. It was always amazing how different the original was from the copy (after passing through thirty or more levels). “We had peas for lunch today” could very well “come back home” as “Steve and Pete laid out of school yesterday”.
As I said, you know the drill!
Harmless kids’ game? Maybe; but it teaches a very important lesson. The problem is, we do not seem to ever learn that lesson.
I, like many of you, have watched the news reports over and over of the very difficult recent weeks that made up the Thanksgiving/Christmas Season. Hurricane Sandy was followed by this shooting and that shooting and then Sandy Hook School; then the shooting of the fire fighters was they tried to do their essential lifesaving work.
Blizzards here and tornadoes there highlighted the highlights; and “Der Bingle’s” “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” became fighting words to them that had one and to them that had one not.
Charges were hurled at the governor and by the governor; and probably in the long run, Mr. Bush will somehow get the blame as all this unfolds.
News reports were premature; and each time they were rehashed, they got either better or worse, depending upon your perspective. Tragic? You betcha!
Last I heard, one surviving student of Sandy Hook was suing the school system for his trauma of having to listen to the loud speakers and guns blazing. I guess to be more concise, it was his parents that are suing the school system.
Then there’s the infamous “fiscal cliff” and the action of inaction that our congressional cream of the crops took; and everybody took to the streets to cheer the fact that they had actually done something – think of that – they had actually debated an issue and come up with a decision – a wrong decision, IMHO; but at least they had the chops to show up and raise their hands.
There will be hearings and discussions and talks and debates and confabs and analysis and arguments and conversations and consultations and deliberations and assemblies – and did I mention hearings?
Who did what? Who said what? Who heard what? Why? To whom, with whom, and on and on it will go.
I try to communicate as clearly as I can the most important message ever told! The Gospel of The Lord Jesus Christ is the singularly most vital and essential communication anyone will ever hear; and it needs to be clearly understood. Souls are in the balance! Eternity is in the scales! Talk about a “life or death” message!
There you go! Mob mentality cannot be controlled. Clear thinking people can never be heard over the din of the chants of the mob. You hear it all the time in news reports of the Middle East.
Make no mistake about it! Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life –and there is no other! Hear the message clearly! Read it again and again; and do not allow it to get garbled in a translation. Go straight to the source – the Bible – any Bible will do (they all have John 3:16 in them).
Don’t have a Bible? Steal one from a motel or hospital room. My friends in the Gideon organization will not mind. They will replace it at their own cost – so you can get the message straight! Jesus saves! He is the only One who could and He is the only One who came; and all of it so everyone could be saved and go to heaven when you die!
Clear enough?
(Mooty is pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport; and writes this column every Thursday and Weekend for “The Newport Plain Talk”. He can be reached at tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Write or call the paper with your comments today.)
Thursday, October 4, 2012
"WYSIWYG"
As Published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Jul 19, 2012
Jul 19, 2012
“WYSIWYG”
My typing leaves a little to be desired – well, a lot actually. Mrs. Gregg was never able to lasso me into her typing class during my seven years up on “The Hill”; and Mavis Beacon just never appealed to me somehow. So I just hang in there with the three fingers going at a keyboard sub novice speed.
What I can’t figure out is why nobody ever told me that someday we would have computers and I would need to be able to key the boards on the keyboards for computers and smart phones and televisions and dvd players and I-pods and tablets and stuff ‘n things.
Why didn’t Mr. Bray hogtie me and march me lockstep with all the other red necks into that third floor class and line us up like sheep to the slaughter and tell us to “git er done”?
There has to be a reason; I just don’t know what it is yet!
It could be because that was then and this is now. I don’t want to bore you with a walk down yet another memory lane; but Howdy Doody was still running strong, Boston Blackie and Charlie Chan were solving crimes and Superman was jumping over tall buildings with a single bound; and it was all in beautiful black and white (remember those “screen savers” that were put up there on the 12 inch – the one with the big “full regaliaed” Indian in the middle) – (oh, I forgot; they didn’t call them “screen savers” until a little later) – and whowouldathoughtit about all the things that run with keyboards and microchips today? Mercy me, even eight-tracks were an amazing marvel of technology still light years in the future.
Uncle Sam’s Air Force introduced me to the wild and wonderful world of computers; and I was able to crank up the old Underwood (mom had graduated to something called an “electric”) and whip out weekly progress reports with blinding speed of two fingers and five carbons (notice I have graduated to three fingers now. There is hope for the old dinosaur yet).
I didn’t get the hang of an “electric” for a long time. I mean, I sneezed one time and typed a whole line across the page – almost sawed the paper in two.
Now, look at me! I even know a few speed tricks to hasten things up a bit; you know J4F.
Ok, you guys, chill and QL; or is this just 2G4U?
Seminary would be a breeze now; I could take those notes with blazing speed; and then ask my instructor AWHFY? I might even throw a few AYPI’s in there just for good measure. Of course, since GMTA, he might tell me to GAL, especially after I asked him to KISS.
Later on, he could ask me RUOK; and I could assure him that I am not SITD.
I could sign my epistles with 0:), or even a 8-X. I would never be :-
or :-(.
One thing for sure; my columns would never again be ZZZZ; and everyone would know that I am writing TIC; YYSSW! And I might even work in a AWG2HTGTTA?
And my final excursion into literary illegitimacy and journalistic jocularity is WYSIWYG.
I pronounce this little gem wysiwyg; which is almost like it is spelled, isn’t it? For the uninitiated members of our Frogpond Fiveminuteville Flock, this means “What you see is what you get”; and it really ought to be a byline of every one of us.
I hope and trust that “He was real” could be written on all our grave markers; because that is what the people of the world need and want to see in people of the Faith.
After all, what good is telling what we know until we prove that we know what we tell? What good is talking the talk until we prove that we walk the walk?
Yes, I write these TIC columns to get your attention; and if I can hold it until you reach this point; maybe the message can get through, maybe the point can come across.
Be a wysiwyg! The children need a wysiwyg in the classroom, the pulpit and the home to show them the way. The young people need a wysiwyg in the peer group to show them the way. The young adults need a wysiwyg in the work force to show them the way. The adults need a wysiwyg in their unique circles to show them the way.
I guess, we could just about agree that everybody needs at least one wysiwyg to be real and really show them the way; and if you are fortunate enough to have more than one wysiwyg in your life, you are of all people, most fortunate!
Tom Mooty is pastor of the West End Baptist Church of Newport and writes the Five Minute Column for the Thursday and the Weekend Editions of the Newport Plain Talk. Your comments are appreciated (especially the good ones) which can be sent to P.O. Box 851, Newport; or to tommooty@webaptistchurch.org.
-- 30 --
Monday, August 6, 2012
"EAT SMART"
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Jul 15, 2012
Column Number: FM 1229
So, I’m driving down Morrell Springs Road the other day; and I saw an incredible display of smart from a dumb animal!
No, I am not talking about an intelligent performance from a critter of the two-legged persuasion (there are not too many of those anyway); I am waxing eloquent about an act of such perspicacy, such perspicuity, such perspicacity, and such percipience as to defy all realms of sagacity and acumen.
Actually, with such a build-up; this must rank up there with Creation on the first page and The Second Coming on the last page. Well, no; nothing can reach to those heights; but it was purty ‘portant, I betcha.
It answers an age old question that children have asked their older and smarter (in some cases) leaders: “How do those cows walk around the sides of those hills without falling off, rolling down, and ending up giving pre-churned butter or pre-ground beef?”
You got that question if you have been in these here hills long enough to have kids.
So, as I was saying, I was driving down Morrell Springs Road one day and lo and behold, I saw it! It was an act of such acute, astute, shrewd, clear-headed, discerning, penetrating, piercing comprehension as to de….. well, you know!
There he/she was, standing there casually munching his/her way to the butcher shop – the most intelligent, keen, canny, discerning, and clever four legged critter of the bovine persuasion I have ever seen.
All his/her peers were standing precariously on the side of the hill, desperately trying to find a level square foot on the “cow trail” that serpentined its way around the sloping landscape.
They were all having great difficulty trying to maneuver their way to the next little clump of graminoids of the pasture grass persuasion on their way from here to there – but not the budding bovine that had captured my undivided.
I think he/she was a Charolais type of the domesticated ungulate family of Bos primigenius. I did not inquire as to the specifics of my case study in bovinology; whether he/she was a bull, cow, heifer, calf, steer, ox, or springer – that didn’t matter; he/she was what my wife, “Miss ‘Nita” called “the other white meat”.
As a side note; my dear mother-in-law once made a frantic call to the Oak Ridge 911 operator; and when all the tape recorders came up to speed and all off-duty personnel had been awakened for this bonified emergency, “Mimmi” breathlessly cried “There’s a bull heifer in my back yard”.
Seems that he/she had jumped the cell bars of a pick-up truck and sprinted to freedom in Mimmi and Daddy Bill’s back yard; but she was too swift to let the escapee escape; and very soon, another freedom loving “bull heifer” was once again incarcerated.
Some of you will get that about midnight tonight; but if not, call my son-in-law, Larry the Dairy Guy and ask him about that.
Anyway, I digress. That intelligent Charolais was standing perpendicular to the path, with his/her front legs up the slope and back legs down the slope (well, duh); and enjoying a leisurely repast of the afore-mentioned graminoids. It was actually very easy because the slope of the hill brought the grass right up closer to the intake valve of the milk/meat making process.
Smart, huh? I told you, we grow ‘em right around here; and they get smarter the closer the farm is to Frogpond! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I bet you thought I was never going to get to the point didn’t you?
Are you smart enough to have made the decision to follow the only begotten Son of the Creator of this wonderful world? Man has made such a mess of the world’s system; we need to stop and smell the roses and allow the Lord to speak to us every once in awhile.
Tom Mooty writes the Five Minute Column for the Thursday and the Weekend Editions of the Newport (TN) Plain Talk. Send your favorable comments to P.O. Box 851, Newport 37822; or to tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Send all unfavorable comments to your own "File 13".
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Jul 15, 2012
Column Number: FM 1229
So, I’m driving down Morrell Springs Road the other day; and I saw an incredible display of smart from a dumb animal!
No, I am not talking about an intelligent performance from a critter of the two-legged persuasion (there are not too many of those anyway); I am waxing eloquent about an act of such perspicacy, such perspicuity, such perspicacity, and such percipience as to defy all realms of sagacity and acumen.
Actually, with such a build-up; this must rank up there with Creation on the first page and The Second Coming on the last page. Well, no; nothing can reach to those heights; but it was purty ‘portant, I betcha.
It answers an age old question that children have asked their older and smarter (in some cases) leaders: “How do those cows walk around the sides of those hills without falling off, rolling down, and ending up giving pre-churned butter or pre-ground beef?”
You got that question if you have been in these here hills long enough to have kids.
So, as I was saying, I was driving down Morrell Springs Road one day and lo and behold, I saw it! It was an act of such acute, astute, shrewd, clear-headed, discerning, penetrating, piercing comprehension as to de….. well, you know!
There he/she was, standing there casually munching his/her way to the butcher shop – the most intelligent, keen, canny, discerning, and clever four legged critter of the bovine persuasion I have ever seen.
All his/her peers were standing precariously on the side of the hill, desperately trying to find a level square foot on the “cow trail” that serpentined its way around the sloping landscape.
They were all having great difficulty trying to maneuver their way to the next little clump of graminoids of the pasture grass persuasion on their way from here to there – but not the budding bovine that had captured my undivided.
I think he/she was a Charolais type of the domesticated ungulate family of Bos primigenius. I did not inquire as to the specifics of my case study in bovinology; whether he/she was a bull, cow, heifer, calf, steer, ox, or springer – that didn’t matter; he/she was what my wife, “Miss ‘Nita” called “the other white meat”.
As a side note; my dear mother-in-law once made a frantic call to the Oak Ridge 911 operator; and when all the tape recorders came up to speed and all off-duty personnel had been awakened for this bonified emergency, “Mimmi” breathlessly cried “There’s a bull heifer in my back yard”.
Seems that he/she had jumped the cell bars of a pick-up truck and sprinted to freedom in Mimmi and Daddy Bill’s back yard; but she was too swift to let the escapee escape; and very soon, another freedom loving “bull heifer” was once again incarcerated.
Some of you will get that about midnight tonight; but if not, call my son-in-law, Larry the Dairy Guy and ask him about that.
Anyway, I digress. That intelligent Charolais was standing perpendicular to the path, with his/her front legs up the slope and back legs down the slope (well, duh); and enjoying a leisurely repast of the afore-mentioned graminoids. It was actually very easy because the slope of the hill brought the grass right up closer to the intake valve of the milk/meat making process.
Smart, huh? I told you, we grow ‘em right around here; and they get smarter the closer the farm is to Frogpond! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I bet you thought I was never going to get to the point didn’t you?
Are you smart enough to have made the decision to follow the only begotten Son of the Creator of this wonderful world? Man has made such a mess of the world’s system; we need to stop and smell the roses and allow the Lord to speak to us every once in awhile.
Tom Mooty writes the Five Minute Column for the Thursday and the Weekend Editions of the Newport (TN) Plain Talk. Send your favorable comments to P.O. Box 851, Newport 37822; or to tommooty@webaptistchurch.org. Send all unfavorable comments to your own "File 13".
"BOTTOM FEEDERS"
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Jul 12, 2012
Column Number: FM 1228
This is the column for which you have all been waiting. You have all been asking for this subject to come front and center. Those of you familiar with this title are probably thinking about catfish right about now; but since I am seriously “fishermanly” challenged, that is not what is going on in the old grey matter.
No, I am thinking about an incident that presented itself outside my bay window the other day; and it involves some of my critters!
Ok, so where do I start? Since June was a big month birthdaywise around the Frogpond Five Minute Headquarters, we decided to celebrate all of them together in one big swell foop; and since my kids are too cheap to buy individual gifts, we included Dads’ and Moms’ Days in that too – and, you guessed it, Miss ‘Nita and I got one gift between us (I told you they were cheap; they say frugal; tomato – tomahto).
Miss ‘Nita and I found ourselves to be the proud owners of a genuine high speed, down draft, double clutching, e-flat bird feeder (not installed nor assembled, batteries not included, and for best results do not remove from plastic bag); so waddiyougonnado?
Well, you know what they always say – “Don’t let the bird feeder get you down”; so, I put my seven years of high school physics 101 to work and figured out how to assemble the thing and fill the thing and hang the thing; I did so with great gusto and awaited my first customer.
The angry birds (the great big ole black noisy critters) got the word first (they must be on facebook) and flooded the front forty like it was a Hitchcock movie. They first lit in on the droppings (the bird seed type, not the other type) that I had spilled in my excursion into assembly, fillery, and hangery.
They protected their four square feet of turf like those storm troopers outside the Star Wars Canteen. But, here came a male blue jay.
Now, normally, I don’t allow these beautiful but obnoxious critters through my electric critter fence; but this one got through and I wanted to watch the show. He went up on top; and, although the angry birds didn't like him being up there, they were all too busy feeding off the bottom, they didn’t issue anything stronger than a “caw’ or two – and he didn’t pay them no mind.
Now, comes a male red bird – one of my favorites; and he immediately went up top. Actually, he had read the manual on “How To Influence Birds and Make Feathered Friends” and began kicking out enough bird seed for the bottom feeders to staff a wedding processional; but they didn’t get the message and began to object because he was “raining on their parade”; and one of them flew up and ran “Red” out of Dodge.
He came back again and again, and I guess the angry birds got tired (or full) and let him have the whole café; and he brought in his girl. She tried a little bottom feeding herself but she was not built for that and, after a sheepish little look up top, she flew up and began to help herself. Red was flying around in protective cover like a “harrier” around a “carrier”. NOTE; you can see this on the ‘net under “carrier harriers”.
Next came the little guys, and even a confused hummer. He had not gotten the memo that a hummer feeder will be next Mom’s/Dad’s Day.
These guys wanted fresh food; they were not satisfied with road kill scattered on the bottom. Even a squirrel checked it out. He/she/it climbed the nearby oak and stretched out but couldn’t reach the metal pole. Then, he went to the ground and looked over the possibilities of a leap into the air; no go. His looks upward told me he was considering climbing the metal pole and, yep, he tried. Got up a foot or two, and then slid back down.
Meanwhile, “Red” came back and kicked him some dregs out – trying to make peace, you know? Didn’t work, Chip (or Dale – never could tell them apart) wanted up top like the big boys and tried and tried and cried and cried. Talk about frustrated! He was not content to bottom feed; but not equipped to top feed.
Surprise, the next day, Chip/Dale had scratched off enough metal filings to enable a climb to the top and for a while, he was king of the hill, scattering droppings to all the unfortunates down below.
I did the only manly thing I could do. I scared him off and greased the pole! I know! I know! I know what “Radar” O’Reilly (no kin to Bill) said in an episode of “Mash”: “Critters is people too”; but enough was enough.
The rest of the story will come down the yellow brick soon; but, boys and girls, what have we learned today?
You, my dear friend, are special acts of God’s Creation; and you are not designed to feed off the dregs of the world, taking a little here and a little there from the devil and his ilk. You were designed to be on top; as a special breed – a Child of the Living God!
Are you living up to your potential? No? Don’t know how to get back on top? I do; and I’ll surely share!
Tom Mooty writes the Five Minute Column for the Thursday and Weekend Editions of the Newport Plain Talk. This excursion into literary mis-excellence also appears on the website – www.webaptistchurch.org. Your comments are appreciated (especially the good ones) which can be sent to P.O. Box 851, Newport; or to tommooty@webaptistchurch.org.
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Jul 12, 2012
Column Number: FM 1228
This is the column for which you have all been waiting. You have all been asking for this subject to come front and center. Those of you familiar with this title are probably thinking about catfish right about now; but since I am seriously “fishermanly” challenged, that is not what is going on in the old grey matter.
No, I am thinking about an incident that presented itself outside my bay window the other day; and it involves some of my critters!
Ok, so where do I start? Since June was a big month birthdaywise around the Frogpond Five Minute Headquarters, we decided to celebrate all of them together in one big swell foop; and since my kids are too cheap to buy individual gifts, we included Dads’ and Moms’ Days in that too – and, you guessed it, Miss ‘Nita and I got one gift between us (I told you they were cheap; they say frugal; tomato – tomahto).
Miss ‘Nita and I found ourselves to be the proud owners of a genuine high speed, down draft, double clutching, e-flat bird feeder (not installed nor assembled, batteries not included, and for best results do not remove from plastic bag); so waddiyougonnado?
Well, you know what they always say – “Don’t let the bird feeder get you down”; so, I put my seven years of high school physics 101 to work and figured out how to assemble the thing and fill the thing and hang the thing; I did so with great gusto and awaited my first customer.
The angry birds (the great big ole black noisy critters) got the word first (they must be on facebook) and flooded the front forty like it was a Hitchcock movie. They first lit in on the droppings (the bird seed type, not the other type) that I had spilled in my excursion into assembly, fillery, and hangery.
They protected their four square feet of turf like those storm troopers outside the Star Wars Canteen. But, here came a male blue jay.
Now, normally, I don’t allow these beautiful but obnoxious critters through my electric critter fence; but this one got through and I wanted to watch the show. He went up on top; and, although the angry birds didn't like him being up there, they were all too busy feeding off the bottom, they didn’t issue anything stronger than a “caw’ or two – and he didn’t pay them no mind.
Now, comes a male red bird – one of my favorites; and he immediately went up top. Actually, he had read the manual on “How To Influence Birds and Make Feathered Friends” and began kicking out enough bird seed for the bottom feeders to staff a wedding processional; but they didn’t get the message and began to object because he was “raining on their parade”; and one of them flew up and ran “Red” out of Dodge.
He came back again and again, and I guess the angry birds got tired (or full) and let him have the whole café; and he brought in his girl. She tried a little bottom feeding herself but she was not built for that and, after a sheepish little look up top, she flew up and began to help herself. Red was flying around in protective cover like a “harrier” around a “carrier”. NOTE; you can see this on the ‘net under “carrier harriers”.
Next came the little guys, and even a confused hummer. He had not gotten the memo that a hummer feeder will be next Mom’s/Dad’s Day.
These guys wanted fresh food; they were not satisfied with road kill scattered on the bottom. Even a squirrel checked it out. He/she/it climbed the nearby oak and stretched out but couldn’t reach the metal pole. Then, he went to the ground and looked over the possibilities of a leap into the air; no go. His looks upward told me he was considering climbing the metal pole and, yep, he tried. Got up a foot or two, and then slid back down.
Meanwhile, “Red” came back and kicked him some dregs out – trying to make peace, you know? Didn’t work, Chip (or Dale – never could tell them apart) wanted up top like the big boys and tried and tried and cried and cried. Talk about frustrated! He was not content to bottom feed; but not equipped to top feed.
Surprise, the next day, Chip/Dale had scratched off enough metal filings to enable a climb to the top and for a while, he was king of the hill, scattering droppings to all the unfortunates down below.
I did the only manly thing I could do. I scared him off and greased the pole! I know! I know! I know what “Radar” O’Reilly (no kin to Bill) said in an episode of “Mash”: “Critters is people too”; but enough was enough.
The rest of the story will come down the yellow brick soon; but, boys and girls, what have we learned today?
You, my dear friend, are special acts of God’s Creation; and you are not designed to feed off the dregs of the world, taking a little here and a little there from the devil and his ilk. You were designed to be on top; as a special breed – a Child of the Living God!
Are you living up to your potential? No? Don’t know how to get back on top? I do; and I’ll surely share!
Tom Mooty writes the Five Minute Column for the Thursday and Weekend Editions of the Newport Plain Talk. This excursion into literary mis-excellence also appears on the website – www.webaptistchurch.org. Your comments are appreciated (especially the good ones) which can be sent to P.O. Box 851, Newport; or to tommooty@webaptistchurch.org.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
SOMETHING GOOD FROM SOMETHING BAD
As published in the Newport (TN) Plain Talk
Release Date – Apr 19, 2012
Column Number - 1216
Our title for this experience into literary excellence makes a lot of good old fashioned Frogpond horse sense – if you allow it! Something good can come from something bad if you are perceptive enough to perceive the good when you are presented with the bad.
Allow me to illustrate this principle. Have you ever done something out of the ordinary, away from the norm, distant from your groove – and you can’t explain why; but when you look back at the entire experience, you see that something bad could have happened, had you continued in your same old rut?
I rest my case!
Well, not exactly; because I have another couple of classic experiences to share; and every Christian has them, they just might not have been receptive to receive them at the time.
My friend Euretha Carson told me that she was driving up the old Knoxville Highway towards Frogpond when that last big storm hit. First, the wind came up, and she braved onward; then came the rain, and she slowed down a bit, but continued on. When the hail came, she took the option that just “happened” to present itself and pulled off to let it pass.
When the clearing cleared and the dark clouds undarkened; she noticed that just up the road, a big tree had fallen across the highway and she would possibly have hit it – or maybe even been under it - had she continued up the yellow brick.
“Just happened”, huh? No! From something seemingly bad came something noticeably good. Just ask anyone who is observant enough (they have to be a Believer so they will not automatically assume that this stuff “just happens”).
By the way, if I might wax a little eloquent for a moment, Euretha and I were colleagues at the old Southern Bell Telephone Company; and I was working with her on the phone on a bad situation. When we got it done, she asked me to come to a revival that the West End Baptist Church was having; and “Miss ‘Nita” and I went – because she asked – and that is when I started going there and am there today! You see, from a bad experience came an explanation; from a situation came a solution; from something bad came something good.
Want more? I got a million of ‘em! We can all think of things that have happened that cannot be explained by any other reason except that God did it!
West End Baptist owns and operates a sign up on “our corner” of West End Street and Knoxville Highway (perhaps you have heard of it). We call her “Ima” – “Ima Sign”; and she hangs in there 24/7/365 – well most of the time. She broke recently, and we tried everything to resuscitate her; but it really looked bad for the home team. We gave her a transfusion of new parts; but she still didn’t respond.
Then we gave her a “joint replacement” of the wireless transmitter; and, in so doing, Ron had to go up into the inside of the steeple; and, guess what? Go on - guess! Ok; they found that one of the four bolts holding the steeple had failed and it was leaning towards Frogpond by as much as two inches. One more storm like that last one, and either First Baptist or Lincoln Avenue would have had another steeple sticking out of their existing one!
That’s the bad; so where’s the good? We (actually Larry, Lisa, Gracie, and Jack) went up and fixed the bolt, tightened it down, and made it steady as a rock again. Had we not had the momentary inconvenience of a dead sign, they would never have found the faulty bolt (I mean, how often do you guys go up inside your steeples and check the bolts); and First Bapti … well you know.
God is active in our lives; but He does not choose to micromanage. You have a free will and are free to stump your toe if you want to disregard His Leadings. Good can come from these experiences but you have to allow it to come out. It has happened to all of you!
Calvary looked like something bad (as indeed it was – momentarily); but from that Sacrifice on Calvary comes our Salvation through Christ. It only comes from God through Jesus Christ; no one else ever died for you – in your place – AS you! No one else did that but Jesus The Christ; and He is wanting us to tell people the “Good News” (“The Gospel”).
And that is a good thing!
These columns are written by Tom Mooty, Pastor of Newport’s West End Baptist Church; and appear each Thursday in the Newport Plain Talk Newspaper. Please feel free to forward these masterpieces to your friends and family around the world; and send all comments to tommooty05@comcast.net or P.O. Box 851, Newport 37822, TN 37822.
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Release Date – Apr 19, 2012
Column Number - 1216
Our title for this experience into literary excellence makes a lot of good old fashioned Frogpond horse sense – if you allow it! Something good can come from something bad if you are perceptive enough to perceive the good when you are presented with the bad.
Allow me to illustrate this principle. Have you ever done something out of the ordinary, away from the norm, distant from your groove – and you can’t explain why; but when you look back at the entire experience, you see that something bad could have happened, had you continued in your same old rut?
I rest my case!
Well, not exactly; because I have another couple of classic experiences to share; and every Christian has them, they just might not have been receptive to receive them at the time.
My friend Euretha Carson told me that she was driving up the old Knoxville Highway towards Frogpond when that last big storm hit. First, the wind came up, and she braved onward; then came the rain, and she slowed down a bit, but continued on. When the hail came, she took the option that just “happened” to present itself and pulled off to let it pass.
When the clearing cleared and the dark clouds undarkened; she noticed that just up the road, a big tree had fallen across the highway and she would possibly have hit it – or maybe even been under it - had she continued up the yellow brick.
“Just happened”, huh? No! From something seemingly bad came something noticeably good. Just ask anyone who is observant enough (they have to be a Believer so they will not automatically assume that this stuff “just happens”).
By the way, if I might wax a little eloquent for a moment, Euretha and I were colleagues at the old Southern Bell Telephone Company; and I was working with her on the phone on a bad situation. When we got it done, she asked me to come to a revival that the West End Baptist Church was having; and “Miss ‘Nita” and I went – because she asked – and that is when I started going there and am there today! You see, from a bad experience came an explanation; from a situation came a solution; from something bad came something good.
Want more? I got a million of ‘em! We can all think of things that have happened that cannot be explained by any other reason except that God did it!
West End Baptist owns and operates a sign up on “our corner” of West End Street and Knoxville Highway (perhaps you have heard of it). We call her “Ima” – “Ima Sign”; and she hangs in there 24/7/365 – well most of the time. She broke recently, and we tried everything to resuscitate her; but it really looked bad for the home team. We gave her a transfusion of new parts; but she still didn’t respond.
Then we gave her a “joint replacement” of the wireless transmitter; and, in so doing, Ron had to go up into the inside of the steeple; and, guess what? Go on - guess! Ok; they found that one of the four bolts holding the steeple had failed and it was leaning towards Frogpond by as much as two inches. One more storm like that last one, and either First Baptist or Lincoln Avenue would have had another steeple sticking out of their existing one!
That’s the bad; so where’s the good? We (actually Larry, Lisa, Gracie, and Jack) went up and fixed the bolt, tightened it down, and made it steady as a rock again. Had we not had the momentary inconvenience of a dead sign, they would never have found the faulty bolt (I mean, how often do you guys go up inside your steeples and check the bolts); and First Bapti … well you know.
God is active in our lives; but He does not choose to micromanage. You have a free will and are free to stump your toe if you want to disregard His Leadings. Good can come from these experiences but you have to allow it to come out. It has happened to all of you!
Calvary looked like something bad (as indeed it was – momentarily); but from that Sacrifice on Calvary comes our Salvation through Christ. It only comes from God through Jesus Christ; no one else ever died for you – in your place – AS you! No one else did that but Jesus The Christ; and He is wanting us to tell people the “Good News” (“The Gospel”).
And that is a good thing!
These columns are written by Tom Mooty, Pastor of Newport’s West End Baptist Church; and appear each Thursday in the Newport Plain Talk Newspaper. Please feel free to forward these masterpieces to your friends and family around the world; and send all comments to tommooty05@comcast.net or P.O. Box 851, Newport 37822, TN 37822.
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